hello, paisley here

Let me tell you the saga of my life these past couple months. You see, usually, I'm totally content to live my lazy kitten life, lounging in my paisley bed, sucking on my blankie, purring, and constantly bathing myself.
But, a couple months ago, my people (you know, Jon and Meghan), well, they decided to turn me into the yuppiest cat ever and I just couldn't figure it all out. They bought this silly little tag that says my name and their phone number, just in case I outsmart and outmaneuver them and actually get outside. And what's worse is that they kept putting this unconfortable thing on my arms and back and it made my fur funny, so I would try to get it off by rolling around on the ground. It didn't ever work, in case you're wondering.
Well, I finally realized something really must be against me when they started making me sit in a plastic cage thing with a wire door. Nevermind that the door is open in this picture. Can you believe the nerve? We would go places in this noisy moving thing; sometimes we'd be home in not much time, sometimes it would take forever, and I really didn't like all the noise (especially the noise that would happen when my people would push certain buttons up by them to be entertained or something) or the things moving fast above my face.

I figured it out for real one day. I kinda had an idea that I was in for it because they took me somewhere where some lady poked me with a long thing and then I was sleepy and grouchy that whole day. Well, the very next day (if you can call it day) they my people woke me up before I got all my beauty sleep and shoved me in that thing, but this time it was FULL of other stuff. Thankfully, I found a place to hide, but I made sure to leave my tail out and twitching so they could see my disapproval.
This was the LONGEST time ever in that noisy thing, so I stayed pretty squished.
And slept for almost 13 hours, or so they tell me. Eventually I got more comfortable and decided it might not be so bad.
Then, I had to get used to all these new places. I think I had 3 new ones in about 2 days. But my favorite was Jon and Joy's house. See my fabulous balancing skills? I won't mention the time I almost didn't land on my kitty feet when no one was there to catch me from this height.
There, they had these feathery things that I loved to play with. I made a big mess, too.
And, I LOVE their chairs. I think my people should get some chairs that help me balance with my claws like I am here.
I slept most of the day, as usual. Sometimes, if it was really hot outside, Meghan would join me.
I met these really loud animals that weren't clean and pretty smelling like I am. And they chased me and scared me up those claw sharpeners that hang in the windows.
I found out that once we went back into that noisy thing, my space got even more cramped. But, I got more bold and explored a bit. I even learned to use my litter box in there. And, as time went on, I found out I had to get used to even more places. One of them even had two other cats who tried to steal my bed and blankie, but don't worry, I came out from under the couch to make sure they knew not to mess with my things. My people tell me that I travelled from (wherever these places are) Utah to Western Washington to Eastern Washington, then to Oregon, the California coast, then Napa, California, and back to Utah through some ugly stinky state called Nevada or something. I just think it was too long to not be home.

Now, because we're back home and I'm SO glad to have my bed and blankie back (even though I had it the whole time--it just wasn't the same), I believe my people when they tell me I'm such a trooper. I mean, I really am.

Even though they did take me back to that place to have another pokey thing and my tummy cut open the other day. I didn't feel too happy about that. But now I'm myself again! And my people tell me I'm as pretty as ever.